How To Miss Your Flight...And Other Important Photo Tips - Assignment Chicago

1. Learn to use the mute button on your phone so that you can step into a restroom or confirm a fast food order while your editor is on the line.

2. Make sure you go to the right airport when sent out of town for an urgent news assignment.

3. It’s not a good idea to eat garlic before arriving to a noisy ballroom where you have to shout in people’s faces to get their names.

4. If your cell phone is hooked on your belt, it will slide off right into the toilet bowl.

5. The microphone needs to be turned on to actually record audio.

6. Go ahead and shoot those raindrops on the window for a weather feature. Don’t worry - your editor has never seen that before.

7. Before you enter a high society fundraiser, wipe off the big glob of refried beans you spilled on the sleeve of your coat after jamming down that burrito from Taco Bell.

8. If your remote camera crashes down onto a basketball court during the middle of the game, don’t duck so another photographer takes the blame.

9. You know that parking spot with the faded red paint on the curb and the ambiguous sign? Bad idea to park there.

10. If you have a pocketknife in your camera bag, the TSA security guard who finds it will get bug-eyed and refer to it as “your weapon.”

11. If you find your caption notebook has disintegrated into a thousand white specks in the clothes dryer, you might need to make a lot of phone calls.

12. Never think you can win an argument with someone wearing a badge.

13. If you’re young and opinionated, refrain from telling your boss, “I don’t think you have the temperament to be an editor” no matter how helpful you think you are being.

14. Most people’s reactions to “a fly on the wall” are to swat it or shoo it away.

15. Telephoto lenses tend to get caught in revolving doors.

16. Check the mirror before your first assignment to wipe the toothpaste from your chin – especially if you will be introduced to dozens of dignitaries.

17. Wear socks that don’t have holes, for those unexpected assignments at a mosque or Buddhist temple.

18. If you’re on deadline, don’t forget where you car is parked in a 16-story structure or a 5-acre lot.

19. If you read about a newspaper’s photo department taking credit for their power at a newspaper, you’ll see in the fine print, “…our managing editor is a strong advocate for visuals.”

20. If you trip backward over the measuring chains on the sidelines of a football game, your feet will go straight up in the air.

21. Don’t absentmindedly put anything on the top of your car while loading your vehicle with equipment. That includes your laptop, camera, cell phone or even that deposit envelope with several $20 bills, which will scatter to the wind.

22. Make sure your coffee thermos fits in the beverage holder of your car, or your drink will do a somersault when you turn a corner.

23. If you win a Pulitzer Prize for having risked your life in a war zone, you’ll still need to pick up that “Pet-of-the-Week” assignment on your way home.